Word of the Day - Platonic

For many of us our drug use was coupled with our sexual practices.  We sought further to fill a void that even the drugs alone could not fill.  Sex or the seeking of validation was as much a drug as those we ingested, snorted, or put into our bodies by whatever means necessary.  We can also become obsessed with a person.  Believing that everything in our lives would be great if the person would only love us romantically. Placing the individual up on a pedestal, their lives and their opinions become more important than our own. Here the person then becomes our drug.

Prince Charming will not save us… we have to take the first step to save ourselves. 

How do we build healthy platonic relationships? Starts with self.  Coming into recovery is the most loving gift we can give ourselves.  Staying clean gives us the opportunity work on the deeper issues that caused us to seek something outside ourselves for relief.  

We learn to use tools that help us cope with feelings of loneliness, rejection, less than, and loss.  We share about these feelings openly and honestly. We meet other addicts in recovery and begin to identify with their struggles and we begin to see we are not alone.  Our first platonic relationships in recovery maybe with members of an outpatient rehab group, or, for some, it is with a sponsor from a self-help fellowship.  As we become more honest with ourselves and those who support us in our recovery we begin building stronger intimate connections that are spiritual, not sexual or obsessive, in nature.  These connections may be confusing at first; we are used to jumping right into bed with someone and we called the ‘intimacy’.  It may take time, however we do begin to accept that others do care and love us without expecting something in return. 

Allow yourself to be loved until you can love yourself - one day at a time.