So, yesterday I was looking for a stamp so that I could mail my rent check.  I just knew that somewhere there was another book of stamps in my apartment that I had not used.  (Honestly, the Post Office is three blocks away and I could have just gone there but my severe lower-back pain kept me from walking the distance).  Moving on, even with my lower-back pain, I was on a mission to find this book of stamps.  

About 45 minutes into my search, I remembered that portable filing bin.  "It’s gotta be in there,“ I said to myself.  I start going through the unsorted documents; and there, as I am getting closer to end, I see the familiar red, white, & blue colors.  I found it!!  But wait, there is something else.

A baggy.

I had it in my hand and I looked at it for about 20 seconds. This baggy contained enough crystal to last me through the day (comparing it to how much, and how I used in the past).  Meaning, it probably would have also kept me awake for over 48 hours.  

I went to the restroom and flushed the baggy, with its contents, down the toilet.  Didn’t freak-out, my heart wasn’t racing, I didn’t put it on my kitchen counter and stare at it for hours.  I flushed it and went about my business of paying my rent.

Today, my back doesn’t hurt as much and my bank account still has sufficient funds for that rent check to clear and pay other upcoming expenses.  Nevertheless, the disease of addiction is insidious; it will try to trick me into thinking that I got it beat.  I must not forget the 20 seconds because so much could have been lost in the seconds that followed.