tolerance

The sum of us equals...

image

On Sunday, June 29, 2014, I got to March with HIV= in the NYC Pride March.  It was amazing to say the least; I had never Marched before.  I was really nervous for some reason when I arrived at the location where our group would meet; after a few members introduced themselves and I as given a tank-top to wear I quickly became a wallflower; speaking to anyone was difficult so I hid behind my camera or my mobile phone.  Isn’t it amazing how certain technological advances are meant ‘connect’ us really just help us more with isolating?

A few more introductions and small talk with members and listening to instructions from our group leader didn’t really loosen me up at all; I wanted to run.  Then something happened…

A man, an older gentleman with white hair, dressed in white and bejeweled with various pins feature rainbow colors.  This Sage asked me directly about HIV=.  I do not work for the organization however, I gave him this answer,  "…HIV does not discrimination and neither should we…“  By the way, from moment he stepped up to me he had been using his point and shoot digital camera to record video of our conversation.  He was excited from my answer and expressed how he thought what we were doing was wonderful.  He then began to tell me that his best friend had died at the age of 32.  His friend had contracted HIV at 28 years and did not seek treatment; "He let himself go,” is how he explained.  Still pointing his camera directly at me he proceeded to tell me how his lover had also died from complications due to AIDS.  He began cry and his voice cracked and he wasn’t able to finish what he was saying.  I put my hand on his arm to comfort him.  He lowered his camera and began to step back and away.  I thanked him for sharing his story. In that moment I realized that this was not about me.  

It’s about We.  You and me, You and I, Us.  It would be some hours later that our group would be Marching down Fifth Avenue following that lavender line, and I, with my camera, looking through the lens at so many of us living.  Living with pain, sorrow, heartache, happiness, illness, love, joy, hope.  Living with HIV.  

This epidemic changed the way we love; it made some of us afraid to love. HIV itself does not tell you who you can love; it does not tell you to hate either; it will not tell you not to build a home or what neighborhood you can live in; it cannot tell you that you are less than or great than the person next to you; it does not know the color of your skin or how much money you have; it does not care about who you love. Society may try to impose some of these limitations on individual groups but HIV is all inclusive. This disease has touched so many lives; regardless of race, creed, religion, profession, gender identity, social standing, sexual preference, or HIV status we are all living with HIV.  

What do we do?  Stand together, regardless of status.  Fight the stigma; educate our youth and all those who are misinformed about HIV and on how to prevent the spread of the virus; if you don’t know your HIV status, then get tested.  Don’t be afraid to ask a question.  Protect yourself!

Together with compassion, education, perseverance, tolerance and love the sum of us equals LIFE.  A life where HIV/AIDS has been eradicated.  

PS: I stopped being so nervous… HIV= leaders are an amazing bunch of men and women trying to bring on change for the lives of those living with HIV… that means All of Us [a global scale].   Through my lens I could so many people living with something and that’s OK… I don’t have to run and they don’t have to run from me.  Thank you Sage for showing me your heart and helping me see that we are all equal.

Those that pass themselves off as altruistic, yet they have ulterior motives.

FAIL

I certainly am no angel.  

Recently, I’ve put into situations where I must tolerate people just like the title of this post.  It is quite frustrating.  I had a long conversation with my mother about this and she suggested that I just not pay attention to them.  So, I am trying to just that.  However, the bullshit is piling high.  

Like I said, I am no angel.  At this time in my life however, I am working on being a better person.  In doing that, whatever I do to be of service to anyone I do because I am able to, want to, and it feels right to do so.  Seeking praise, status, or some kind of kick back just doesn’t fly with me anymore.  That’s was my attitude when I was in active addiction.  Me, me, me, always me.  

So, how does one deal with those with seemingly hidden agendas.  Tolerance, I suppose.  So what… let them talk behind your back; let them believe in their own bullshit; let them dig themselves deeper into a hole?  Or should one call them out on their bullshit; warn potential victims of their conniving, manipulative, and sometimes bullying ways; tell them you’re tired of it?  What if I’m wrong?  Then I suppose I would be acting just like them in a way but different; with good intentions however, hurting them in the process; there appears to be many roads to hell.

We see it all the time; in religious groups, politicians, the rich, and yes in the poor as well; addicts and non-addicts.  We watch as people to good deed just for the fame, money, and/or power.  We see groups spreading hate and every Sunday they sit in church believing that they are in the right and are good people.  

What to do?  When is enough, enough? Live and let live I guess.  Patience, Tolerance, and Acceptance are spiritual principles that can be very hard to practice.  I will need to set some healthy boundaries.  For now, I’ll listen to my mother.

_______________

a few hours later

I have to continue to pause and examine my own motives… Why am I lending a hand, offering assistance, giving advice, making myself available etc etc? If I am seeking praise, reward, ego stroking, or to have power over someone, then the good karma, that I would like to believe I am spreading, is negated.

This is what annoys me the most, when I witness to such behavior, or even fall victim to such. Again, I am no angel… I am working on myself so I am not so self-centered.

joshology101:

tyleroakley:

buckhollywood:

How To Deal With a Bully at School - SIT YOUR ASS DOWN!!! 

It’s really simple, but I think more people should see this.

Really though. This would shut them, the fu**, up, and I bet you’d actually gain a lot of respect if you stood up like that.

I think it’s great… but what about the inner-city schools?  One may have to just go straight to the police.   Just sayin’ “Sit your ass down” may get you a harsher beat down.

Pet me and give me a treat...

Today, at some point during the day, I felt as if I was being treated like child by someone, or as if I were someone with special needs being harassed by a person who insisted on helping them when it’s clear they don’t need or want any assistance.  What I mean by that is, the person spoke to me with a tone in which, I felt, true sincerity was lacking, yet the words used helped this person put on a show for everyone else listening to show that he/she “cared”.  Pure bullshit! 

I wanted to say, “Are you gonna pet me and give me treat now?"  Secondly, I wanted to leap from seat and backhand the pompous, pretentious, condescending, etc etc little prick, but I didn’t. 

Some people are more sick than others.  No matter how much this person makes me sick, I will pray for this person.

Word of the Day - Tolerance - April 28

tol·er·ance

[tol-er-uh ns]

–noun 

1.a fair, objective, and permissive attitude toward those whose opinions, practices, race, religion, nationality, etc., differ from one’s own; freedom from bigotry.


2.a fair, objective, and permissive attitude toward opinions and practices that differ from one’s own.

3.interest in and concern for ideas, opinions, practices, etc., foreign to one’s own; a liberal, undogmatic viewpoint.

4. the act or capacity of enduring; endurance: My tolerance of noise is limited.

5.Medicine/Medical, Immunology .
     a.the power of enduring or resisting the action of a drug, poison, etc.: a tolerance to antibiotics.
    b.the lack of or low levels of immune response to transplanted tissue or other foreign substance that is normally immunogenic.

6. Machinery .
     a.the permissible range of variation in a dimension of an object. Compare allowance ( def. 8 ) .
    b.the permissible variation of an object or objects in some characteristic such as hardness, weight, or quantity.

7.Also called allowance. Coining . a permissible deviation in the fineness and weight of coin, owing to the difficulty of securing exact conformity to the standard prescribed by law.

—Synonyms
1, 2.  patience, sufferance, forbearance; liberality, impartiality, open-mindedness. T olerance , toleration  agree in allowing the right of something that one does not approve. T olerance  suggests a liberal spirit toward the views and actions of others: tolerance toward religious minorities.  T oleration  implies the allowance or sufferance of conduct with which one is not in accord: toleration of graft.