“Ten years later their program to mislead the public about condoms has been effective while the actual effectiveness of condoms to prevent disease has not. Each year millions of teens are surprised to find they contracted an STI even though they were “protected” and “practiced safe sex.” What they should have been told is the truth: The only completely effective method for avoiding an unwanted pregnancy or STI is for both partners to abstain from sexual intercourse prior to marriage. There are no other options. There is no magical contraception that will allow you to have all the sex you want with whoever you want and remain perfectly healthy. Reality doesn’t work that way.”
The Condom Conspiracy | First Things (via sds)
The important thing to understand about comprehensive and sex-positive sex education is that it’s not about practicing “safe sex” but rather “safer sex.” Yes, abstinence is the only 100% guarantee to avoid contracting STIs, but what’s this “prior to marriage” bit? First off, you will never really know another person. What if your fiance had that one drunk night on that business trip? That one time at that one party in high school? What if after marriage one of you has an affair? It only takes one sexual encounter with an infected individual to contract an STI and a committed relationship does not protect you from this. In an ideal world where people were honest and responsible, maybe, but when have people ever not made mistakes?
Beyond this, the way you define “safe” or “safer” sex is directly related to what you consider sex. I have found that most people view sex as a penetrative act between a penis and an orifice. Is foreplay sex? Is lesbian sex sex? Is mutual masturbation sex? Is toyplay or fingerplay or oral sex sex? There are an INFINITE amount of different kinds of sexual activities that don’t necessarily involve a transmission of fluids and can be immensely enjoyable for both (or all!) people involved.
Each sexual activity, be it deep kissing or penetrative sex falls on a risk continuum and sex-positive sex education encourages people to be aware of who they are having sex with, how much they know about their partner, and what specific risks each sex act entails.
Another thing is that all STIs are different! Barrier methods such as condoms, dental dams, finger cots, and female condoms are a great and immensely effective way to protect yourself from HIV and other STIs transmitted through the exchange of fluids. But are condoms effective against STIs such as genital warts, herpes, or HPV? No!
Some diseases do not need an exchange of fluids to spread but rather contact with an infected area such as a genital wart or a herpes outbreak. As a product of abstinence-only education, I never knew this. I also did not know that an ob-gyn does not automatically screen for HIV at a yearly pelvic. Not being armed with this information and instead being told not to have sex, ever, period led me to make really irresponsible and ill-informed decisions regarding my sexual health.
We all know that teenagers don’t want to be told they can’t do things. They think they can do anything. Instead we should give them real factual information about their health and the kinds of risks that come with sex so they can make responsible and informed decisions.
The best (and most realistic) way to protect yourself from HIV and other STIs? Learn about STIs and how they are spread. Be able to discuss STIs and sexual history with your partner(s). If you can’t talk about risk of pregnancy or STIs with a partner, why are you letting them have access to your body?
Get tested regularly. Inform your partners of your sexual/sexual health history, your HIV status. Reduce your risk by using protection and being imaginative about the actual sex act. Be in control of your sexual health.
Know, Inform, Stay Safe.
<3 M