HIV

a day with HIV

#adaywithhiv A day before my birthday… I am checking to see how many Likes my Red Ribbon photograph has gotten on IG. It’s 2:15 pm, and I take my #HIV medication. I do this daily…to keep myself #Undetectable… If only I checked my social media accounts once per day. I’m still working on that… With #photography, it’s all about exposure [getting your work seen]. Speaking of #exposureIf you are HIV negative and engaged in activities [no judgements] that put you at risk of being exposed to the virus, then I suggest you talk to your doctor about getting you on #PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis) can greatly reduce your chances of contracting HIV through sex or injection drug use. Make sure to take it as prescribed. If you feel that you have been exposed to HIV within the last 72 hours… again, the last 72 hours… then get yourself to an emergency department and ask for #PEP (post-exposure prophylaxis). You will take medicine(s) for 28 days to prevent HIV disease after being exposed. If you are HIV positive, take your meds, keep your head up, chase your dreams. Basically, just keep on living. I’ll be 51 years old tomorrow, and I received my diagnosis in 2002. My life changed, but it didn’t end. Take it one day at a time.

AIDS Walk New York 2015

We walked so that people infected HIV can have access to much needed services.  NYC TriState area is in the top 10 of highest rate of new infections in the U.S.   Money raised through such events like AIDS Walk New York will help fund Outreach and Prevention services.  Again, we are all living wit HIV so, find out what you can do in your local community and/or learn more about HIV awareness and prevention.  

It’s in the male...

This month… 13 years ago… Three letters changed my life… it wasn’t a doctor that told me… I learned of it by reading a life insurance rejection notice I received in the mail along with my deposit refunded to me. Two weeks later my doctor confirmed what the notice stated.

A new life began with one sentence… a death sentence, it was never.

The sum of us equals...

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On Sunday, June 29, 2014, I got to March with HIV= in the NYC Pride March.  It was amazing to say the least; I had never Marched before.  I was really nervous for some reason when I arrived at the location where our group would meet; after a few members introduced themselves and I as given a tank-top to wear I quickly became a wallflower; speaking to anyone was difficult so I hid behind my camera or my mobile phone.  Isn’t it amazing how certain technological advances are meant ‘connect’ us really just help us more with isolating?

A few more introductions and small talk with members and listening to instructions from our group leader didn’t really loosen me up at all; I wanted to run.  Then something happened…

A man, an older gentleman with white hair, dressed in white and bejeweled with various pins feature rainbow colors.  This Sage asked me directly about HIV=.  I do not work for the organization however, I gave him this answer,  "…HIV does not discrimination and neither should we…“  By the way, from moment he stepped up to me he had been using his point and shoot digital camera to record video of our conversation.  He was excited from my answer and expressed how he thought what we were doing was wonderful.  He then began to tell me that his best friend had died at the age of 32.  His friend had contracted HIV at 28 years and did not seek treatment; "He let himself go,” is how he explained.  Still pointing his camera directly at me he proceeded to tell me how his lover had also died from complications due to AIDS.  He began cry and his voice cracked and he wasn’t able to finish what he was saying.  I put my hand on his arm to comfort him.  He lowered his camera and began to step back and away.  I thanked him for sharing his story. In that moment I realized that this was not about me.  

It’s about We.  You and me, You and I, Us.  It would be some hours later that our group would be Marching down Fifth Avenue following that lavender line, and I, with my camera, looking through the lens at so many of us living.  Living with pain, sorrow, heartache, happiness, illness, love, joy, hope.  Living with HIV.  

This epidemic changed the way we love; it made some of us afraid to love. HIV itself does not tell you who you can love; it does not tell you to hate either; it will not tell you not to build a home or what neighborhood you can live in; it cannot tell you that you are less than or great than the person next to you; it does not know the color of your skin or how much money you have; it does not care about who you love. Society may try to impose some of these limitations on individual groups but HIV is all inclusive. This disease has touched so many lives; regardless of race, creed, religion, profession, gender identity, social standing, sexual preference, or HIV status we are all living with HIV.  

What do we do?  Stand together, regardless of status.  Fight the stigma; educate our youth and all those who are misinformed about HIV and on how to prevent the spread of the virus; if you don’t know your HIV status, then get tested.  Don’t be afraid to ask a question.  Protect yourself!

Together with compassion, education, perseverance, tolerance and love the sum of us equals LIFE.  A life where HIV/AIDS has been eradicated.  

PS: I stopped being so nervous… HIV= leaders are an amazing bunch of men and women trying to bring on change for the lives of those living with HIV… that means All of Us [a global scale].   Through my lens I could so many people living with something and that’s OK… I don’t have to run and they don’t have to run from me.  Thank you Sage for showing me your heart and helping me see that we are all equal.

So it's National Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day. I have a lot feelings about this, because, i feel like it's fucked up and necessary and fucked up that it's necessary. Here's the tea: This shit is plaguing our community and has been for ages. Most of that is about historic and current systemic and structural violence aka inaccess to resources/knowledge/power necessary for healthy living/survivial/thriving. Another part of that is our proximity to in/externalized white supremacy, heterosexism, heteropatriarchy, femmephobia and the like. Here's the other thing, HIV meds can cut transmission by 96%, add that to a condom (if used properly) and that's cut by another 76-98%. No one can get meds without being tested, but in many states being tested for HIV and being found positive, is grounds for losing your right to have consensual sex. In most states, if you're HIV+ and have consensual sex, despite disclosing your status, you can be criminalized as an attempted murderer, bioterrorist, sex offender or biological weapon among other things for simply having sex---without transmission of HIV. So if you're a young, sexually active person of color, getting tested becomes scary as shit. You got your physical life on one hand and the threat of further criminalization and your sexual-social life on the other. The struggle is real. So before we start hollering about disclosure, remember that sometimes, disclosure means death...Jim Crow Prison style.

HIV-Positive and As Sexy As I Want to Be | Tyler Curry

Now, before we begin, you can go ahead and unravel that tight wad your panties have wound themselves into. This blog post is not intended to promote the transmission of HIV, and in no way is it meant to glamorize HIV/AIDS. Is it even possible to glamorize such an abysmal disease? I think not. But I have noticed that when an HIV-positive man takes a public stance without the “woe is me” pretense, that is the general dissent. Glamorizing HIV would be like trying to Photoshop a picture of the Holocaust: No matter how you manipulate it, the ugliness remains. However, I am not HIV itself, and it’s time that people who are HIV-positive stop wearing the face of the virus as if it were their own.

Sometimes life can deal you a hand that can make you feel like you will never win. Being diagnosed with HIV is just one example. But unlike some other unfavorable traits that we carry in our deck, being HIV-positive can seem like the only card you have to play. READ MORE

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