drugs

a day with HIV

#adaywithhiv A day before my birthday… I am checking to see how many Likes my Red Ribbon photograph has gotten on IG. It’s 2:15 pm, and I take my #HIV medication. I do this daily…to keep myself #Undetectable… If only I checked my social media accounts once per day. I’m still working on that… With #photography, it’s all about exposure [getting your work seen]. Speaking of #exposureIf you are HIV negative and engaged in activities [no judgements] that put you at risk of being exposed to the virus, then I suggest you talk to your doctor about getting you on #PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis) can greatly reduce your chances of contracting HIV through sex or injection drug use. Make sure to take it as prescribed. If you feel that you have been exposed to HIV within the last 72 hours… again, the last 72 hours… then get yourself to an emergency department and ask for #PEP (post-exposure prophylaxis). You will take medicine(s) for 28 days to prevent HIV disease after being exposed. If you are HIV positive, take your meds, keep your head up, chase your dreams. Basically, just keep on living. I’ll be 51 years old tomorrow, and I received my diagnosis in 2002. My life changed, but it didn’t end. Take it one day at a time.

How was your day? →

“It’s a struggle out here every day in the city. All the homeboys are using crystal. Blood, Crip, it doesn’t matter. They are all going crazy on crystal. It’s the new big thing in LA. They call it G-Unit or Go Fast. Everybody is smoking it or snorting it. You go to the Black communities and you’ll be surprised. It’s super abundant. It’s badass as a muthafucka and it’s fucking South Central LA up real bad right now.”

Facing the Stigma of Gay Men, HIV and Meth: Friends, Families, App Users and Organizers →

As the author of Lust, Men and Meth: A Gay Man’s Guide to Sex and Recovery, David Fawcett, Ph.D., L.C.S.W., has been speaking in cities across the United States, meeting many people affected by their own or other’s meth use. He is also a person with HIV, therapist and clinical hypnotherapist in private practice in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, who serves as the mental health and HIV expert for TheBody.com’s “Ask the Experts” forum.

In Part 2 of our interview with Fawcett, we discussed how family members, hookup app users and other community members can counter the stigma that can exacerbate meth use, as well as possible next steps to harness the growing awareness of both meth use and stigma.(You can find part 1 of the interview here.)

Many friends, loved ones, care providers and community members are involved with people seeking to make changes in their meth use. What are common pitfalls that people may not even know they’re doing, in terms of using stigmatizing language or a stigmatizing framework? How can family members and allies be supportive and also take care of themselves – do what they need to do without compounding the stigma?

It’s a great question. It’s complicated.

One of the ways that people cope with addiction is to use a morbid humor about it and their behavior and some of the things they’ve done – almost joking about it – and having kind of a group identity based on those behaviors. One of the appeals of meth particularly is the taboo quality of it. It’s actually taking that stigmatized aspect and embracing it in an unhealthy way.

That can sustain a level of stigma, just because they’ve incorporated that into their identity somehow in ways that they’re not even conscious of; people can do it automatically. So pointing that out to them, pointing out the language, pointing out how to be conscious of words and correcting them and [encouraging them to be] in environments that are corrective is really important.

Often people continue to employ the defense of stigmatizing others as they’re coming through their healing process. So we’ll see a lot of stigma within the addiction community. As I mentioned [in Part 1 of the interview], alcohol users stigmatize meth. But even within the meth community, people who’ve smoked it look down on people that snorted, and people who’ve snorted look down on people who’ve injected: [There are] hierarchies of stigma that can persist if they’re not challenged or at least corrected. So just raising awareness of this is important.

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When Addiction Has a White Face - NYTimes.com →

It is hard to describe the bittersweet sting that many African-Americans feel witnessing this national embrace of addicts. It is heartening to see the eclipse of the generations-long failed war on drugs. But black Americans are also knowingly weary and embittered by the absence of such enlightened thinking when those in our own families were similarly wounded. When the face of addiction had dark skin, this nation’s police did not see sons and daughters, sister and brothers. They saw “brothas,” young thugs to be locked up, rather than “people with a purpose in life.”

What's Happening, Now?

It’s been quite some time since I have written a post relating to addiction and recovery.  Today, I came to realize something while I was checking an app that I recently started using; Timehop. I use the app to post daily throwbacks however, four years ago today and the days before there aren’t posts.  Well, it finally hit me; I had relapsed.  

I was in relapse mode fresh out rehab earlier in the month and didn’t really discuss with anyone.  It took a few weeks before I would pick up the drug (crystal meth) and ended up using for five days straight.  It was miserable and I am grateful that it did not last longer than five days and that it did not kill me.

Now, don’t get me wrong, my life is not measured by how many posts I have on social media sites and the likes and comments I receive on those posts however; Timehop really brought it back for me.  It reminded med  that Nothing else goes in my life if I am using drugs.  Forget posting on social media for a moment; If I start using drugs, then I won’t go to work, won’t go to class, won’t stay in touch with my family or friends, won’t have savings, won’t take care of my cat, won’t clean my apartment, won’t pay my bills, I take care of myself… I can go on and on.  There honestly will be nothing going on in my life except for finding ways and means to get more drugs.  That’s not living; that’s not a life worth sharing with anyone.. Not on Facebook, not on Twitter, not on Google+ and certainly not in person. That’s not what is happening now.

Today, I’m clean and living a life beyond my wildest dreams.  It’s not what I thought it would be and it is better than it was four years ago and years before that. I have wonderful people in my life (family and friends).  No longer am I stuck trying to get the next hit.  I am actually living.  I know that tomorrow and probably a few days after there will not be any posts from four years ago for Timehop to show me (I used up until 10/23/10) and that’s OK.  Let it serve as a reminder that nothing good will from me picking up a drug.  October 24, 2010 was my first day, back from a relapse, without using a self-prescribed mood or mind altering substance.  That’s what’s happening; that’s what’s up! 

Grateful

#DRUGS #CrystalMeth Becoming More Popular in Germany - SPIEGEL ONLINE →

In recent years, crystal meth use seems to have exploded in Germany, particularly along the Czech border. As researchers are discovering, the population of users is much more diverse than many people expect.

The police received the emergency call at six o’clock in the morning on a Sunday. Patrick (not his real name) was screaming into his phone: “I’m being shot at!” Police special forces moved in — and, when they got there, discovered that a light bulb in Patrick’s IKEA lamp had exploded.

Only a few weeks later, the ambulance was called back to Patrick’s residence in the Bavarian city of Landshut. The 30-year-old had jumped out of the third floor window of his pre-war building in a panic. He had broken his shin in two places and splintered his heel bone because he thought he was being pursued by the Mafia.

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