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Don't Super-size Me

Around this time, last year, I weighed around 155 - 160lbs.  Now I am almost 200lbs. Lately I have been having some serious body image issues.  I am simply not happy with all the weight gain yet, I haven’t doing anything about it.

I felt I needed to write something just so I could see words as a type them and maybe I can work something out.  You see, I am a recovering addict.  My drug of choice was Crystal Meth.  Combine that with not being happy about the way I look can lead me straight to trouble with a capital T.

My mind has been on the I-can-do-crystal-and-lose-lots-of-weight-no-time route for the past few days.  I know it’s not a healthy solution but, at times, it feels like a great plan.  Well, they say, “Feelings aren’t Facts!" 

Most of my adult life I maintained my weight; between 150 and 160lbs.  My current weight is the heaviest I have ever been.  It’s funny how I am allowing this to make me feel sad and/or less than.  That sorrow and low self-esteem is enough to have me less motivated to anything about my weight gain when I should be channeling that energy into something constructive, like exercise. 

OK… so this what I have to do:

First of all, vanity is not a good excuse to pick-up a drug; there are no good excuses to use drugs.

Second, I live by a park; I can walk 30 minutes a day… then soon I’ll be able to jog 30 minutes a day. 

Third, if I give time time, I will shed the pounds at a healthy rate.

Sounds like a plan!