relapse

What Is Emotional Relapse? - Lasting Recovery Outpatient Addiction Treatment

Emotional Relapse Defined

Because it is the earliest stage, during emotional relapse you have not yet even started to think about drinking or using. Instead, you are experiencing negative emotions and acting in self-destructive ways that can undermine and jeopardize your continued recovery.

Signs of Emotional Relapse

Some of the “red flag” emotions include:

Anxiety – overwhelming uncertainty or fear about your new, sober life

Intolerance – rigid, uncompromising ideas; refusal to cooperate with others or accept new ideas

Anger – feelings of resentment that flare up whenever something doesn’t go exactly as you would like

Defensiveness – reacting to any criticism with hostility

Mood Swings – having no control over how you feel

Some of the dysfunctional behaviors include:

Social Isolation – avoiding friends and family; purposely spending all of your time alone

Refusing to ask for help – trying to “do it all” without assistance, especially when you KNOW that you need help

Poor Meeting Attendance – finding excuses to not go to 12-Step (AA/NA/Celebrate Recovery) meetings or outpatient counseling sessions

Unhealthy Eating Habits – eating as a response to emotional pain or stress; eating only fast food or junk; alternatively, loss of appetite

Disrupted Sleep Patterns – insomnia, poor quality sleep; alternately, excessive sleeping, usually because of depression

Avoiding Emotional Relapse

There are 3 keys to avoid emotional relapse and other, more progressive stages:

Self-Awareness –This means actively practicing better knowledge of your moods and emotions.

Self-Care –This simply means making it a habit to do those things that are necessary for your physical and emotional well-being.

Eating right

Relaxation techniques

Stress Reduction

Getting enough restful sleep

Ask for help –Addiction is too big a problem to tackle alone. Accepting help from positive and supportive people gives you additional resources and keeps you from feeling isolated.

Pulling back from emotional relapse keeps you away from the next, more dangerous step –, where you actually start about using or drinking again.

What's Happening, Now?

It’s been quite some time since I have written a post relating to addiction and recovery.  Today, I came to realize something while I was checking an app that I recently started using; Timehop. I use the app to post daily throwbacks however, four years ago today and the days before there aren’t posts.  Well, it finally hit me; I had relapsed.  

I was in relapse mode fresh out rehab earlier in the month and didn’t really discuss with anyone.  It took a few weeks before I would pick up the drug (crystal meth) and ended up using for five days straight.  It was miserable and I am grateful that it did not last longer than five days and that it did not kill me.

Now, don’t get me wrong, my life is not measured by how many posts I have on social media sites and the likes and comments I receive on those posts however; Timehop really brought it back for me.  It reminded med  that Nothing else goes in my life if I am using drugs.  Forget posting on social media for a moment; If I start using drugs, then I won’t go to work, won’t go to class, won’t stay in touch with my family or friends, won’t have savings, won’t take care of my cat, won’t clean my apartment, won’t pay my bills, I take care of myself… I can go on and on.  There honestly will be nothing going on in my life except for finding ways and means to get more drugs.  That’s not living; that’s not a life worth sharing with anyone.. Not on Facebook, not on Twitter, not on Google+ and certainly not in person. That’s not what is happening now.

Today, I’m clean and living a life beyond my wildest dreams.  It’s not what I thought it would be and it is better than it was four years ago and years before that. I have wonderful people in my life (family and friends).  No longer am I stuck trying to get the next hit.  I am actually living.  I know that tomorrow and probably a few days after there will not be any posts from four years ago for Timehop to show me (I used up until 10/23/10) and that’s OK.  Let it serve as a reminder that nothing good will from me picking up a drug.  October 24, 2010 was my first day, back from a relapse, without using a self-prescribed mood or mind altering substance.  That’s what’s happening; that’s what’s up! 

Grateful