What's Happening, Now?

It’s been quite some time since I have written a post relating to addiction and recovery.  Today, I came to realize something while I was checking an app that I recently started using; Timehop. I use the app to post daily throwbacks however, four years ago today and the days before there aren’t posts.  Well, it finally hit me; I had relapsed.  

I was in relapse mode fresh out rehab earlier in the month and didn’t really discuss with anyone.  It took a few weeks before I would pick up the drug (crystal meth) and ended up using for five days straight.  It was miserable and I am grateful that it did not last longer than five days and that it did not kill me.

Now, don’t get me wrong, my life is not measured by how many posts I have on social media sites and the likes and comments I receive on those posts however; Timehop really brought it back for me.  It reminded med  that Nothing else goes in my life if I am using drugs.  Forget posting on social media for a moment; If I start using drugs, then I won’t go to work, won’t go to class, won’t stay in touch with my family or friends, won’t have savings, won’t take care of my cat, won’t clean my apartment, won’t pay my bills, I take care of myself… I can go on and on.  There honestly will be nothing going on in my life except for finding ways and means to get more drugs.  That’s not living; that’s not a life worth sharing with anyone.. Not on Facebook, not on Twitter, not on Google+ and certainly not in person. That’s not what is happening now.

Today, I’m clean and living a life beyond my wildest dreams.  It’s not what I thought it would be and it is better than it was four years ago and years before that. I have wonderful people in my life (family and friends).  No longer am I stuck trying to get the next hit.  I am actually living.  I know that tomorrow and probably a few days after there will not be any posts from four years ago for Timehop to show me (I used up until 10/23/10) and that’s OK.  Let it serve as a reminder that nothing good will from me picking up a drug.  October 24, 2010 was my first day, back from a relapse, without using a self-prescribed mood or mind altering substance.  That’s what’s happening; that’s what’s up! 

Grateful

Another photo from the project that I am doing for my employer.  It’s actually quite a bit work.  I connected my camera to my computer and in just the last 3 days I have taken over 1200 photos.  Going through them to get the best shot takes up a lot of time.  Not only am I taking the photos; I am also putting the putting the meal together (No, I’m not the chefs rather; I take the already prepared meal from its container and transfer it to dinnerware [2nd photo is how I receive the meal(s)]).  

So grateful for the is opportunity.

Time of Birth: 01:45 AM

40 Years Ago, Today.

Great Day

Had wonderful time with my friend George who treated me to brunch at Elmo. The french toast is amazing!.  We then took a stroll on The High Line; the weather was great.  We also had a great discussions. 

Later on I met my friend Joseph and walked around Chelsea and the Flatiron District for a few hours.  I had not seen Joseph in a while; it was great to catch up with him. 

My life is really starting to change while being in recovery; for so long I kept myself in isolation only venturing out when I needed more drugs.  I had lost touch with many friends and family members.  Now I am slowly working on rebuilding the relationship and starting new ones.  I am not missing out on life by being independent from dependency. 

Truly a great 4th of July!