I am not sure!
For three weeks now I have had trouble falling asleep. Anywhere from 3:30am to 4:30am is when I last see the time before some form a slumber hits me. My alarm still goes off at 6am and turn it off; only to lie there for another 2 hours before dozing off again.
There is no motivation to get out bed when I awake at around 9:30am I still have plenty of unpacking to do and yet still i lie there hoping that the boxes will empty themselves.
I do get out of the APT everyday, I attend sober gathers and events mostly during the evenings. These aren’t enough to tire me out at night. I walked about 75 blocks yesterday (20 block is about a mile) because it was such a beautiful day and again, coupled with evening events, it wasn’t enough to knock me out.
I tired meditating, I tried reading, I tried writing… I have chosen not to a sleep-aid.
To me, and to some people I know, it all sounds like depression but, I also sounds like old behaviors. Behaviors of when I was using drugs. Laziness, lack of motivation, expecting things to just take care themselves without me doing any work.
I can honestly say, “I don’t have a desire to use, today."
So, what’s up?