Have people in your life that, when you make plans with them, they use ink on their calendars and not a pencil.
Hey, I’m an addict, I have stickin’ thinkin’. Whenever someone pencils me in I immediately think that if something better comes along they will just do that instead. It has happened to me before, and I was given to excuses like, “I forgot,” “I thought I told you,” and whatever else. Some of the excuses may be honest and true. I get it; life happens.
When I make plans, that’s the plan I make. If something terribly exciting comes along I still stick to my plans with whomever and decline any other offers. That’s just me. If there is an opportunity to extend an invitation to the person, I have a previous engagement with; bring them all, buy them a ticket, et al.. I will make the suggestion to them, and if they decline (that’s OK), I will stick with our original plan.
Like I said, life happens. There are circumstances, at times, out of one’s control, and plans do change. Maybe for the better. Time is precious, I would think that one deserves to know where they stand & what’s going on ASAP. I try and do that and deserve that in return.
Now it may seem that I am inflexible and premeditated; lacking spontaneity. That is not true. There are feelings that are kicked up for me when I am ‘penciled in’. Feelings of less-than, undeserving, fear of abandonment, not being good enough, fear of rejection et al… and that just from being told I was penciled in, or last minute cancellations, or I having to find out myself (I mean, come on! Are we not adults?); I should not have to initiate the conversation for your lack of balls. Totally projecting! I know. Now imagine if the plans actually do change and I am left out. Those feelings suddenly become my reality even though the other party’s intent was not to harm me; my feelings are real to me. Knowing these feelings, I try not to have others feel them too, so I try to respect their time, every time. I am punctual and honest about my availability. Anything else I ‘could’ have do? Oh well, maybe it’s not that deep. I can do things on my own. At least I know what’s on my schedule
I use pen on my calendar (period!)
Every moment counts; let's capture them.