January 5th - In Thought
Life in active addiction is the very antithesis of our childhood dreams.
Many of us, as children, aspired to do great things; to be doctors, lawyers, entertainers, teachers, artists, and even had dreams of being president; to have a family (large or small); to have a home and travel the world. Whether our upbringing provided us with little means, or a lot, we did not say to ourselves, “I want to be an addict when I grow up.”
In active addiction, our primary purpose was getting the next hit. Many of us started out with just using now and then. As our disease progressed so did our frequency of use. Things that we valued in our live we began to neglect; Things like employment, family, self-care, and education just got in the way of our using. Calling out sick every Monday; neglecting personal hygiene; forgetting to pick up the kids from practice; missing classes to pursue the next hit are a part of many of our stories.
We hear from other addicts in recovery that doors opened to opportunities the longer they stayed clean and worked on their recovery. When seek out recovery and we can begin to awaken to new possibilities in our lives. Putting the drugs down is the first step. In that moment of surrendering to recovery just like we had surrendered to drugs, we can start the process of changing our behaviors and thinking. We align our actions with the loving and caring will of something greater than us in pursuit of happiness in our lives.
What we thought we could not achieve, we suddenly have hope that we can have a life beyond our wildest dreams; away from the nightmare of active addiction, and find a new way to live - one day at a time.