drug addict

January 11th - In Thought

Word of the Day - Culture

One night I walked into a NYC dance club, someone put a key with white powder on the end of it under my nose, and felt that I had “arrived”.  That was 19 years ago.  My, how things have changed!

That night, on the dance floor, I thought I found what I’ve been searching for all my life.  What exactly was it?  I’m not sure, but I do know that it was different than the life I was living.  I dove right into the club culture.  My nights out progressed just like my drug use.  First it was once a month, then every Friday night, after that came marathon weekends.  Soon, I was at a bar or night club every night of the week except Tuesdays.  Suicide Tuesdays.  

After about 7 years I was starting to remove myself from club life and int another 3 years I was simply over it!  I had moved to Florida for a change of scenery and things were going well.  Even my drugs use lessened.  Then I started getting that itch; I needed to dance.  I was feeling homesick for the beats.  Club culture was a lot different in Tampa.  What the hell does one do when every place closes at 2am?! #GASP!!!

I found myself again entering into a world that was far from the dance floor and yet I felt I had “arrived”.  The drugs became my main concern.  I was no longer interested in the music.  Hell, I was always too fucked up to even leave my apartment.  Lost interest in school, movies, social events (unless drugs were there),  art, watching PBS, reading; basically anything that would take time away from me using.

My using brought me to a point to where reading at an elementary school level was difficult.  ***Oh yeah! I arrived alright - but I’m stuck and not going anywhere now*** 

For too long I truly felt that clubbing and drugging was what we ‘gays’ do.  I didn’t know of life outside beyond the velvet rope or the baggy.  Since I have put the drugs down, little by slowly, I can appreciate more of what the world has to offer.  Appreciate the gifts that so many talented individuals share with the rest of the us.   Recovery allows me to continue to open myself up to new experiences; not be stuck on a dance floor somewhere hardly moving while thinking that I am tearing up the floor with my moves.  

By being in recovery, I get to learn more about what makes your world go round as well as mine - one day at a time.

***I was able to go to a club after my first year in recovery.  I went for the music.  I do love me some fierce beats.  It’s not for everyone; made sure I had support while I am there and an exit plan.***

Alcoholism Council Of New York | 1-800-56-SOBER →

I am getting my training to become a CASAC (Credentialed Alcohol & Substance Abuse Counselor) at ACNY.  Well, I learned this week that the organization may have to shut its doors in 2013 after 50 years in providing educational, prevention, outreach, family, youth, and community services to New Yorkers. ***Bill Wilson once served on the Board of this organization.****  It is scary to think that it might close down.  

I am asking that anyone in recovery, or anyone who is willing to support their cause, to make a donation to help keep their doors open.

If you are unable to make a donation… Please Tweet this post, Reblog it, +1 on Google, PinIt, and/or Share it on Facebook.

Thank you!

To learn more about ACNY CLICK HERE

September is Recovery Month!! →

Recovery Month promotes the societal benefits of prevention, treatment, and recovery for mental and substance use disorders, celebrates people in recovery, lauds the contributions of treatment and service providers, and promotes the message that recovery in all its forms is possible. Recovery Month spreads the positive message that behavioral health is essential to overall health, that prevention works, treatment is effective and people can and do recover.

Word of the Day - More

more
[mawr, mohr]

adjective
1. in greater quantity, amount, measure, degree, or number: I need more money.

2. additional or further: Do you need more time? More discussion seems pointless.

noun
3. an additional quantity, amount, or number: I would give you more if I had it. He likes her all the more. When I could take no more of such nonsense, I left.

4. a greater quantity, amount, or degree: More is expected of him. The price is more than I thought.

5. something of greater importance: His report is more than a survey.

6. ( used with a plural verb ) a greater number of a class specified, or the greater number of persons: More will attend this year than ever before.

adverb
7. in or to a greater extent or degree (in this sense often used before adjectives and adverbs, and regularly before those of more  than two syllables, to form comparative phrases having the same force and effect as the comparative degree formed by the termination -er ): more interesting; more slowly.

8. in addition; further; longer; again: Let’s talk more another time. We couldn’t stand it any more.

9. moreover.

Idioms
10. more and more, to an increasing extent or degree; gradually more: They became involved more and more in stock speculation.

11. more or less,
     a. to some extent; somewhat: She seemed more or less familiar with the subject.
     b. about; in substance; approximately: We came to more or less the same conclusion.

Word of the Day - Slight

slight
[slahyt]

adjective
1. small in amount, degree, etc.: a slight increase; a slight odor.

2. of little importance, influence, etc.; trivial: a slight cut.

3. slender or slim; not heavily built.

4. frail; flimsy; delicate: a slight fabric.

5. of little substance or strength.

verb (used with object)
6. to treat as of little importance.

7. to treat (someone) with indifference; ignore, especially pointedly or contemptuously; snub: to be slighted by society.

8. to do negligently; scamp: to slight one’s studies.

noun
9. an act or instance of slighting  indifference or treatment: Slights marred his work.

10. a pointed and contemptuous discourtesy; affront: She considered not being invited an unforgivable slight.

Word of the Day - Example

ex·am·ple
[ig-zam-puhl, -zahm-]

noun
1.one of a number of things, or a part of something, taken to show the character of the whole: This painting is an example of his early work.

2.a pattern or model, as of something to be imitated or avoided: to set a good example.

3.an instance serving for illustration; specimen: The case histories gave carefully detailed examples of this disease.

4.an instance illustrating a rule or method, as a mathematical problem proposed for solution.

5.an instance, especially of punishment, serving as a warning to others: Public executions were meant to be examples to the populace.

6.a precedent; parallel case: an action without example.

verb (used with object)
7.Rare . to give or be an example of; exemplify  (used in the passive).

Word of the Day - Embrace

em·brace
[em-breys]

verb (used with object)
1. to take or clasp in the arms; press to the bosom; hug.

2. to take or receive gladly or eagerly; accept willingly: to embrace an idea.

3. to avail oneself of: to embrace an opportunity.

4. to adopt (a profession, a religion, etc.): to embrace Buddhism.

5. to take in with the eye or the mind.

6. to encircle; surround; enclose.

7. to include or contain: An encyclopedia embraces a great number of subjects.

verb (used without object)
8. to join in an embrace.

noun
9. an act or instance of embracing.

Word of the Day - Divert

di·vert
[dih-vurt, dahy-]

verb (used with object)
1. to turn aside or from a path or course; deflect.

2. British . to route (traffic) on a detour.

3. to draw off to a different course, purpose, etc.

4. to distract from serious occupation; entertain or amuse.

verb (used without object)
5. to turn aside; veer: It is sad to see so much talent divert to trivial occupations.

Word of the Day - Hygiene

hy·giene
[hahy-jeen]

noun
1. Also, hygienics. the science that deals with the preservation of health.

2. a condition or practice conducive to the preservation of health, as cleanliness.