February 14th - In Thought

Word of the Day - Perfectionism

I once heard someone say, “Perfectionism is another word for Laziness.”  Wow, when I heard that I laughed.  I laughed because I totally identified with that; I had never heard it said that way before, ever.  

I when I can’t things to go my way, I end up not doing anything at all.  That’s a very spoiled brat approach to things.  Many times I want what I want to fall out of the sky without me having to any work to get it.  When that doesn’t happen, I sulk and mope and have pity party for myself because I feel that the world is against me; that I have bad luck; that no one wants to help me.  Truth is, if I got my ass and actually put some effort into achieving my goals, then they may just come fruition.  Problem is that I may do just that but I want to be in control of how it all happens.  And again, if one thing doesn’t go my way I may end up just quitting it all together (laziness). 

Recovery is helping me to accept that the universe is working in my favor when I take the next right action.  What I am trying to achieve in life will happen in its own time and it own way.  When I force my will onto situations I lose out on life’s lessons.  It’s OK to not be perfect; It’s OK to have some failures that’s where the lessons are learned.  My way is not always the right way.  

In recovery, I learn to put in the effort and to let go of the results.  Meaning, not to beat myself up about things that I felt have gone wrong and not to allow my successes to cloud my mind into thinking that I’m all that!  

The only thing that I need to do perfectly in life is to not pick up that first drug - one day at time.