Grievance
griev·ance
[gree-vuh’ns]
We do have a voice when we come into recovery, and we learn to use our voice in a healthy manner. When we are in active addiction the drug speaks through us or sometimes keeps us from speaking at all. Any harms that we feel have been brought upon us become minimized because we feel that we deserved it or getting loaded was more important than whatever grievances we have. On the other hand, the smallest thing, that would interfere with us getting what we wanted and when wanted, we turn it into a catastrophic event as if the whole world was plotting against us or about to end.
They say that feelings are not facts, yet it is a fact that we do feel…
We learn to be honest with others about how we have been affected by their behaviors or a particular situation. After becoming willing to listen to gain a better understanding we may find that things are not as bad as they appear. Also, in more serious matters, being in recovery we learn to assess situations and make rational decisions and take action. Less and less do we get into shouting matches, or react in harmful ways on impulse. In learning to listen, we begin to respect the voice of others; we not only harmed ourselves in our active addiction. Our behaviors affected our relationships with our family, friends, coworkers, and neighbors.
No longer do we need to run to our cop spot because we believe that someone hurt our feelings. We take ownership of our shortcomings and try daily to change our behaviors. Staying clean gives us the chance to recognize these behaviors in us that have caused havoc in all aspects of our lives. We stay away from people, places, and things that could affect our emotional, physical, and spiritual well being. In turn, affecting our recovery.
We begin to learn how and when to use our voice - one day at a time.
