The Summer of No Shame 2013 | Facebook →

My name is Christian Ledan and I live in NYC, NY.

I learned of my #HIV status through the mail, on a Saturday, alone in my apartment, in Brooklyn, in April 2002. A few months prior I had flu like symptoms that I couldn’t shake and had gone to doctor in January, again in March, both times an HIV test was done with the results coming back negative. Due to being ill, I started thinking about what would happen if I died; who would pay for medical expenses and funeral costs? You know… all those morbid thoughts that one has when they get sick. Well, I decided to get a small life insurance plan that would help cover such costs since I was single and without children. 

In March of 2002 I met with a financial advisor signed up for retirement plan/life insurance policy. Wrote a check for the deposit and scheduled the appointment for the phlebotomist to come draw blood (a requirement for the life insurance plan). April Fools’ Day of all days was the day. Twenty days later, I received correspondence from the company. In the envelope was a check equal to the amount of my deposit, a letter stating that I was denied the plan, and a copy of the blood work which appeared to indicate that I had HIV antibodies. I had to wait until that Monday to fax the results to doctor. It was confirmed two weeks later. The same week my doctor confirmed the diagnosis I was laid-off from my job. 

I am what is called a nonprogressor; at the time of my diagnosis it common to suggest to wait before starting any HIV treatment. So that is what I did; waited. My t-Cells were always high and my Viral Load low. Physically, my body was doing a great job controlling the virus. Emotionally, I was torn up inside. I hid my pain very well from friends and family. I moved to Tampa to bring on a change and things started looking up. New home and a new job wasn’t enough. Suddenly I found myself using crystal meth. This became my solution to dealing with the pain. I had done plenty of club drugs for many years back when I dancing every weekend away but this time, with crystal, it was not on the dance floor. It was in my home. 

My blood work still looked good even after moving back to NYC and progressing to a daily IV user of meth. By now my new doctor was recommending that I start HIV meds, due to the advancements in medicine and less side effects, and I continued to decline. I excuse was that I am allergic to so many things (which is true) and I feared having a deadly reaction to the medication. The truth, I read up on some of the medications and what I truly feared was overdosing because I was active user of crystal meth and other substances. Truly insane thinking!

Today, I am in recovery. I’ve been clean since 10-24-2010! In the Spring of 2011 I had a talk with my current doctor and, although my numbers are still great, with his help I made the decision to start HIV treatment. He told me it was time to give my body a break and to let the medication do the work for me. I’ve been on Truvada and Isentress since August 2011, I am undetectable and my t-Cells are high. Recovery has helped me feel comfortable in my own skin and there is no shame in being HIV+.

They created an HIV resistant cell →

Researchers at Stanford University have created HIV-resistant T-cells, a breakthrough that, if proven successful in humans, could potentially stop the virus from developing into AIDS.

The discovery was announced in Tuesday’s issue of Molecular Therapy, and according to researchers, could replace lifelong drug treatments and protect the immune systems of those infected.

A Stanford press release explained the process:

A new study describes the use of a kind of molecular scissors to cut and paste a series of HIV-resistant genes into T-cells. […] By inactivating a receptor gene and inserting additional anti-HIV genes, the virus was blocked from entering the cells, thus preventing it from destroying the immune system.

HIV works by entering and ultimately killing an individual’s T-cells, leading to a collapse of the immune system. Researchers were quick to point out that the therapy is not a cure for HIV, but rather a method to make patients immune to it.

“Once [a person contracts HIV], they become susceptible to all sorts of infections and cancers, and that’s what kills the patient ultimately–not the virus,” explained the study’s principal researcher, Dr. Matthew Porteus, to The Huffington Post. “So our goal is to build an immune system that is resistant to the virus.”

In theory, Porteus and his team could replace a percentage of a patient’s T-cells with the HIV-resistant cells. As the HIV-sensitive cells would die off, the resistant cells would reproduce, eventually creating an immune system of entirely HIV-resistant cells.

“The body has an incredible way of balancing itself,” explained Porteus. “The virus would have no more cells to infect.”

Currently, doctors use drug therapy to help achieve this affect. But because the HIV virus is notorious for mutating, many patients must take dozens of pills a day for the rest of their lives. Should the gene therapy prove successful, the pills–and their sometimes unbearable side effects–would no longer be necessary.

“If you put one roadblock in front of HIV, it is very good about getting around that,” said Porteus. “What we’ve done in our study is shown that we can add multiple layers of protection, creating what is essentially a complete resistance to HIV.”

The Stanford breakthrough is one of several increasingly positive studies in the fight against HIV. In 2007, researchers in Berlin completed a stem cell transplant on an HIV-positive man that appeared to cure him of the virus. Dubbed the “Berlin Patient,” Timothy Ray Brown is still HIV-free four years later.

“The obvious question is why we don’t we do that for everyone,” said Porteus. He explained that the conditions for such a phenomenon are so rare, that a stem cell cure might not be practical on a large scale.

“But if we can create immune systems that are protected against HIV, you could reach a state where you had a fully-functioning immune system with a low level of HIV infection that wouldn’t cause any problems,” he added.

According to the San Francisco Chronicle, researchers plan to conduct more lab work before starting animal testing. The team hopes to begin testing on humans within the next five years.

Huge Breakthrough In HIV Research Brings Us Closer To A Vaccine →

By Tara Culp-Ressler on Jan 4, 2013 at 2:00 pm

A team of Spanish researchers say they have made an important breakthrough in HIV research, developing a new vaccine against the virus that is significantly more effective than earlier attempts. Advancing vaccine research could eventually eliminate the need for the expensive methods currently used to treat HIV-positive individuals.

Researchers tested the vaccine on randomly selected HIV-positive individuals who were already taking highly active antiretroviral of treatment currently available to combat the virus. They wanted to see if, rather than simply suppressing the effects of the virus with outside treatment, their vaccine could lead the human immune system to coordinate its own defense against HIV — and they succeeded, seeing some subjects’ HIV viral loads drop more than 90 percent after 12 weeks of the trial:

“What we did was give instructions to the immune system so it could learn to destroy the virus, which it does not do naturally,” said Felipe Garcia, one of the scientists in the team at Barcelona University’s Hospital Clinic.

The therapeutic vaccine, a shot that treats an existing disease rather than preventing it, was safe and led to a dramatic drop in the amount of HIV virus detected in some patients, said the study, published Wednesday in Science Translation Medicine. […]

The vaccine allowed patients temporarily to live without taking multiple medicines on a daily basis, which created hardship for patients, could have toxic side-effects over the long term and had a high financial price, the team said.

“This investigation opens the path to additional studies with the final goal of achieving a functional cure — the control of HIV replication for long periods or an entire life without anti-retroviral treatment,” the researchers said in a statement.

The researchers did find that the effectiveness of the vaccination declined after the first year, when patients had to return to their previous HAART treatment. Still, though, they noted this breakthrough is the culmination of seven years of research — and they will spend the next several years working to improve the vaccine even further.

Over the past year, the global community has made significant strides forward in its mission to eradicate the HIV/AIDS epidemic. This latest scientific progress builds upon previous research and policy advances that have contributed to better tests and treatments for HIV, better health care for HIV-positive individuals, and ever-increasinglife expectancy rates for those living with the virus.therapy (HAART) medications, the most scientifically advanced form 

The Body | My HIV Journey: 13 Months of Videos Following My Diagnosis →

by Aaron Laxton August 2012

Aaron Laxton

I am simply a guy who on June 6, 2011, received the news that more than 33 million people have received: I am HIV positive. I decided in that moment to record the journey that I was embarking on so that I might help others as they receive that news. I’m not a doctor and I don’t endorse any agenda other than simply living a healthy life.

Table of Contents

• Day 4 of HIV Diagnosis (June 10, 2011)
  “I found this video on my cell phone that I had shot 4 days after being diagnosed with HIV. I am uploading this so that maybe someone else that feels the same way will be comforted. Let me know what you think. It gets better!”
• Refusal to Participate in Life – Seven Days After Being Diagnosed (June 13, 2011)
  “This was a video I made seven days after I was diagnosed. I show this simply so others can see that it does get better. … Please excuse the poor audio but you get the point.”
• Let’s Talk About HIV (July 5, 2011)
  “Let’s talk about some basic HIV information that everyone needs to know. Some myths, ways you can contract it or spread it. Safe sex practices, AIDS/LifeCycle and a few other things.”
• I’m Still Aaron Even Though I’m Positive (July 7, 2011)
  “HIV doesn’t change the person that I am. I am still the same friend, same lover, same person… so why act differently?”
• I Refuse to Live With HIV in Silence (July 15, 2011)
  “Some of you may watch my videos and find them boring or simply uninteresting, and that is OK. I make my videos to help raise the awareness of HIV/AIDS as well as to let people see the ups and downs related to HIV.”
• Going Back to Work (July 20, 2011)
  “Today I am finally going back to work for the first time since being diagnosed. Yay me. I am feeling great and have some great things happening.”
• Why Do You Talk About HIV? (July 27, 2011)
  “Recently I was asked why I was posting so many things about HIV and talking about it so much. I talk about it because it is something that we need to talk about. We need to realize that it is a pandemic and that while we have made advancements with medication, we are far from a cure.”
• HIV, Sex and Dating (July 30, 2011)
  “A diagnosis of being HIV positive does not have to mean the end of your sex life. Everyone should engage in practices that encourages honesty and the use of safe sex methods. Additionally how a person views themselves is how others will view you.”
• Financial Considerations of HIV (July 31, 2011)
  “Many times it is easy to only think about the health issues related to HIV but there is another issue: How to pay for living with HIV. Medicine, labs, doctor visits, all have to be paid for somehow. This video just covers this briefly.”
• Decisions Leading Up to My HIV Infection (August 2, 2011)
  “A brief conversation about the poor decisions leading up to my HIV infection. I tell my story so that hopefully others will listen and learn.”
• HIV Day 58: Two-Month Anniversary of Diagnosis (August 4, 2011)
  “So it is hard to believe that almost two months ago I was diagnosed. This video gives you a behind the scenes look at where I make my videos; I also reflect on the last two months.”
• A Candid Conversation About How I Am Feeling (August 4, 2011)
  “No lights, no mics just me and my video recorder talking about how I feel – side effects, disclosure issues and all the steps of adjusting to HIV.”
• Who Would You Tell That You Are HIV Positive? (August 22, 2011)
  “Just a question to consider. Who would you tell if you were HIV positive? Do you have anyone? Friends? Family? If you do not tell them, why not?”
• How Do You Cope With Your HIV Diagnosis? (September 5, 2011)
  “How do you deal with your HIV diagnosis? I ask this question because I was recently in my room and it hit me that I am positive.”
• “Are You Dirty?”, Inspiration and Sex Kits (September 20, 2011)
  “Just a brief look at what is meant when people say are you "dirty” on hookup sites, and how we have to stop allowing it to be said. Also, a friend spoke with me about getting his friends tested. Finally, I talk about safe sex kits.“
• Understanding Your Lab Tests (September 27, 2011)
  "As an HIV patient there are lab tests that you will become accustomed to. This is a video that briefly explains these tests and what they are measuring.”
• Advice for Positive People on How to Hook Up (October 4, 2011)
  “A viewer messaged me asking if I had any advice for positive people when hooking up. They went on to say that they find it perplexing when negative people that they hook up with ask them what is safe. Watch the video and let me know what you think.”
• Hope Is All You Have (October 9, 2011)
  “Day 125: Sometimes hope is all that you have. I make these videos not because everything is going right in my life, or because I have everything that I need.”
• Advice If You Are Newly Diagnosed With HIV (October 22, 2011)
  “Advice that would tell anyone was recently diagnosed with HIV. Most of these things I have learned firsthand and some I have been told by others.”
• Adjusting to the News of an HIV-Positive Diagnosis (October 24, 2011)
  “This reading comes from HIV The First Year: An Essential Guide for the Newly Diagnosed by Brett Grodeck.”
• Healthier Choices Make Healthier People (October 24, 2011)
  “Another selected reading from HIV The First Year: An Essential Guide for the Newly Diagnosed by Brett Grodeck. This reading talks about the importance of living a healthy life.”
• HIV Denialists, Discordant Dating and Ideas (November 6, 2011)
  “Just an update on my life. I am 153 days into my journey with HIV. In this video I discuss HIV denialists, HIV-positive people dating negative people, and ask for ideas for future videos.”
• You Have HIV, So What? (November 14, 2011)
  “A video in response to a letter that a viewer sent me concerning a crush that he has on someone. Don’t let HIV control your life, control HIV. Real love goes beyond HIV.”
• Latest Lab Results and Viewer Responses (November 15, 2011)
  “HIV Day 162! My latest viral load was 93 and my CD4 count was 708. Also I answer a few questions that viewers had for me: 1) telling others your status; 2) oral sex; 3) advice about being lonely.”
• Happy Thanksgiving (November 24, 2011)
  “On Day 170, as I near the six-month mark of my HIV journey, I reflect on what I am thankful for in my life. I wish each and every one of you a happy Thanksgiving. Let me know what you are thankful for.”
• Six Months After HIV Diagnosis, a Year After Becoming Positive (November 26, 2011)
  “On Day 172 I reflect on the holidays – this is around the time last year that I was probably infected – and the past six months since my diagnosis. I also offer an update on my life and look back at some of the things that I have faced during the last few months.”
• HIV Day 173: Something Reminds Me That I Have HIV (November 27, 2011)
  “Whether you were recently diagnosed or you have been diagnosed for awhile, the day you found out you were positive is a day you will never forget. As you move forward things change and return to normal, whatever that is, but life is never the same. I talk about my own experience.”
• Help Me, I Have HIV: Now What? (November 29, 2011)
  “In this video I offer advice to newly diagnosed patients or those that think they might be HIV positive. I offer steps that I used during the first few days and weeks of my own diagnosis with HIV. Also please know that you are not alone and that help is only a message away. Myself and others know the place where you are right now and it does get better”
• Living With HIV, Putting Your Own Support System in Place (December 2, 2011)
  “With HIV there are good days and there are bad days. In order to get through them you have to have a support system in place that will be there to support you. In this video I talk about evaluating your friends and making choices about who will and will not be in your life.”
• Six-Month HIV Summary of My Life (December 14, 2011)
  “Six months since my diagnosis: What has changed? I have a new job and my health is great. I also talk about my new 30-day trial as a vegetarian. How are you doing with your diagnosis? Post a response and let me know.”
• HIV Day 207: 2011 Coming to an End (December 30, 2011)
  “As we close out 2011 I talk about my own HIV diagnosis. I hope that all of you are able to deal with HIV and you life. Let me know if there is anything that I can do to help you.”
• The End of a Relationship (January 2, 2012)
  “It’s Day 209 of my HIV journey. In this video I discuss my recent breakup with my boyfriend and how HIV factored into the equation. I admit that this is an area where I am still growing and have lots of room to grow.”
• Managing HIV in Your Life (January 4, 2012)
  “In this video I respond to a viewer’s question about how HIV has impacted my life. HIV doesn’t make me feel like a different person and is only an aspect of who I am.”
• HIV and Drug Relapse (January 14, 2012)
  “In this video I talk about my own battle with drugs, relapse and what role my diagnosis had in my relapse. Acceptance of your own diagnosis can be hard but you have to find healthy ways to deal with the stress of life and of HIV.”
• HIV/AIDS, Guilt and Shame (January 18, 2012)
  “For me, HIV consists of the physical as well as the mental parts. Guilt and shame are things that play over and over but are not constructive. In this video I talk about support groups and talking to others about your HIV.”
• What It Feels Like to Get the News That You Have HIV (February 4, 2012)
  “For many people that receive the news that they are HIV positive this is how they feel. Many people cannot put it into words but this is how they feel. During the last six months there have been times in which I have felt most of these things.”
• Break From Making YouTube Videos (April 15, 2012)
  “Just a quick video on Day 314 to explain my month-long break from making videos. Sometimes I think it is important to pull back from your diagnosis and focus on other aspects of your life. Do not let HIV define you. For me it was a much-needed break to focus on simply living.”
• HIV Day 338: Examining the Last Year (May 9, 2012)
  “In order to know where we are going we must remember where we have been. In this video I talk about the last 338 days and some of the decisions that I made that helped me with my HIV diagnosis.”
• Disclosing Your Status (May 12, 2012)
  “Deciding whether or not to self-disclose one’s HIV status is a huge decision that can be quite scary. In this video I talk about the best practices for doing this.”
• What Are You Doing to Fight HIV/AIDS? (June 17, 2012)
  “July is HIV Awareness Month and I pose the question: What are you doing to fight HIV/AIDS? Do you volunteer? Do you push to get your friends tested?”
• What Does HIV Look Like? (June 19, 2012)
  “What does HIV look like? Who does HIV look like? In this video I talk about advocating for those with HIV/AIDS and for continuing the fight that others have started for us. Consider this a call to action and a challenge to not only fight with me but to fight for me in the fight of HIV/AIDS. Pick up the Red Ribbon and come with me!”
• Health Care Reform, Choices and Advocacy (July 1, 2012)
  “In this video I talk about the implications personally of the U.S. Supreme Court’s decision to uphold the Affordable Care Act. I also ask what choices you’ve had to make regarding your own health care. Finally, remember that HIV/AIDS is still very much an issue and we all must fight and work together to end it.”
• HIV Day 392: My Birthday Wish (July 3, 2012)
  “For my 33rd birthday, I ask my viewers to help spread the word about "My HIV Journey” and to join me in the fight of HIV/AIDS. I also reflect on the last year and my recent lab results, and I end with a challenge to all of you.“

Have a HAART... (part III)

Almost 2 months ago I decided, with my doctor, to going on HIV-therapy.  Tomorrow, I will learn of my 1st blood work results since starting treatment.  I’m sure all will be well; here’s hoping that I am undetectable.  

Will update later on this week. 

Have a HAART... (part II)

A lot happened over the weekend….

I started HIV-treatment… just 3 pills a day… I’m feeling just fine… no side effects

I also, went on a date… first date in a very very very long time.  Had a wonderful time… we did kiss… first kiss in over 2 years for me… He says that he would like to see me again… He is HIV negative; that kicked up a few things with me.  This would be first for me as well; I have only ever dated someone that is pozitve since my diagnosis 10 years ago.

Let’s see… what else… I started taking lessons in sign language… 1-on-1 for an hour on Sundays.  

I am still transitioning off of public assistance.  Starting next month, I will be paying about 90% of my rent… I can still receive Food Stamps for about a year and keep Medicaid because my employer doesn’t offer health insurance at this time.

In just 2 months, I will be 40 years old.  I am still working on my 40lbs by 40yo Challenge.  I need to lose 13 more pounds.  However, I am not sure how much fat I have actually lost.  I know that I have gained muscle and my waist size is getting smaller. So, there is a chance that I might hover around my current weight of 171lbs  if I continue to gain muscle mass and shed some fat.  Anyway, I feel great.

___________

Just wanted to give a quick update on what’s happening with me.

Vaccine is found to clear the body of HIV virus →

An experimental vaccine could prove to be the ultimate weapon against AIDS, research suggests.

Studies indicate it has the potential to clear the body of all traces of the AIDS virus, HIV.

Uniquely, the injected vaccine is carried by a persistent virus which remains in the body for life.

Cytomegalovirus (CMV) enables the immune system to be constantly on the alert for HIV.

Researchers in the US used different versions of the vaccine against a monkey form of the AIDS virus, Simian Immunodeficiency Virus (SIV), with outstanding results.

More than half the rhesus macaques monkies treated responded to the point where even the most sensitive tests detected no signs of SIV.

To date, most of the animals have maintained control over the virus for more than a year, gradually showing no indication they had ever been infected.

Unvaccinated monkeys infected with SIV went on to develop the monkey equivalent of AIDS, caused by the collapse of their immune systems.

The findings suggest the vaccine could be effective enough to rid the body of immunodeficiency virus completely, according to the scientists writing in the journal ‘Nature’.

Conventional antiretroviral therapies are able to control HIV infection, but cannot clear the virus from its hiding places within the immune system’s white blood cells.

Study leader Dr Louis Picker, from Oregon Health & Science University’s Vaccine and Gene Therapy Institute, said: “The next step in vaccine development is to test the vaccine candidate in clinical trials in humans.

"For a human vaccine, the CMV vector would be weakened sufficiently so that it does not cause illness, but will still protect against HIV.”

CMV belongs to the herpes family of viruses, and like other members of the group never leaves the body once an infection has occurred.

An estimated half of all adults in the UK carry CMV but suffer no or few symptoms.

The virus is spread through bodily fluids such as saliva and urine.

When symptoms do occur, they are similar to those of flu including a high temperature and swollen glands as well as tiredness.

People with weakened immune systems can have a more severe response.

Read more: http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/health/vaccine-is-found-to-clear-the-body-of-hiv-virus-15154765.html#ixzz1N9MacfdV

New hope against HIV/AIDS →

A silver bullet to defeat HIV/AIDS still doesn’t exist, but the world is getting closer.

An international study released this week found that transmission of the virus can be nearly eliminated if patients are simply given drug therapy as early as possible.

The trial was among 1,763 couples where one partner was infected. The couples were split into two groups - in one group the infected partners had received anti-retroviral drugs immediately upon diagnosis, in the other, the infected partners had begun therapy later.

Over the course of six years, researchers found that those who had started treatment early were 96 percent less likely to transmit the virus to their partners than those who had begun treatment later. The data was so overwhelming that the study was terminated years ahead of schedule.

The results are the first to prove what HIV/AIDS experts already suspected - that immediate treatment offers major health benefits. They also back San Francisco public health officials’ much-debated recommendation from last year that people should be treated as soon as possible after their diagnosis.

“The pendulum has really swung towards early treatment,” said Dr. Grant Colfax, director of HIV prevention for San Francisco’s Public Health Department.

It’s poignant that the study’s release is happening just weeks before the 30th anniversary of the first reports of HIV in the United States.

“This year there have been a lot of positive signs in terms of turning the epidemic around,” Colfax said. “Maybe in another 30 years, (HIV) won’t be around.”

In the meantime, this study poses a new challenge to public health officials. The evidence is clearly starting to show that it’s much better to treat patients earlier, but from where will the money come?

Anti-retroviral medications have made huge strides in the past five years. The side effects are less debilitating and the drugs are more widely available in poor countries that have been racked by the epidemic.

Unfortunately, they’re still very expensive. Many poor countries, already struggling to deliver therapy to those with full-blown AIDS, will probably conclude that they can’t afford to launch early treatment programs for people who aren’t already sick.

That would be a mistake. Yes, anti-retroviral medications are pricey - but what are really expensive are new HIV infections. Early treatment offers enormous returns for patients’ health and productivity, and now, it appears, that benefit extends to their partners as well. It doesn’t come cheaper than that.

This article appeared on page A - 9 of the San Francisco Chronicle