dreams

Last night I had a dream that people were trying to hold me down; trying to keep me from succeeding. Some of these people were extensions of me as I am my own worst critic. In the dream I began to feel a force inside of me… In the dream, I began singing this song.

I woke up feeling that I could do anything… that I am on the right path… The song is still stuck in my head as I write this post…

I’m Unstoppable!

February 29th - In Thought

Word of the Day - Dream:

A life beyond my wildest dreams.  That’s what is possible in recovery.  

For me, wildest dreams equals nightmares.  What had become life, what I made my life into, and how I saw my life as being was all a nightmare.  Thinking that I had arrived, that I somehow was fulfilling my dreams on a dance floor, doing another bump, and not sleeping until Sunday evening was truly insane thinking.  I was accomplishing nothing more than escaping my reality for brief periods of time.  

The lights always came on… and life outside would always be there.  

So discontent with my present I blamed everything on others; My parents, the educational system, my family, God, being black in America, a boss or an organization et al were all to blame for my present hardship.  Hmmmm, maybe it’s the drugs, I said never.  

I would beat myself up about not pursuing a dream of mine to be a singer (at one time in my life, I did have a great singing voice).  Naturally, I blamed my parents and the educational system for my lack of motivation to chase this dream.  That didn’t work out very well.  Putting down the ‘party’ didn’t really cross my mind.  

Not having a degree; well, that’s because I’m black in America.  Wrong!  Maybe it was being at the club/bar on a school night was more important.  Yup, that could have been it. 

If I were not fired from that job, then I would be running that company by now.  Oh really, with what degree. and how many Mondays did I miss work? I dreamed big, I made Associate.  Oh wait, that what they call all their employees.  

So, what happens now?

I stopped using drugs and started working on the issues that I became am Escape-aholic to cope with.  I am still working on those issues.  I try to not blame others for my challenges in life.  I know now and accept my limitations and seek out help when needed.  I concentrate on my strengths and try not sabotage things that are going well and in their own time (that’s the toughest one). In doing that, new dreams have awakened.  Dreams of happiness, of having and keeping wonderful people in my life and me being a part of their lives, of being a better person today than I was yesterday, achieving my goals not for status but because it can be done and it feels right. 

As long as I do not pickup that first drugs, I will far removed from the nightmare and the possibilities are endless.  In recovery I get to live in the present, dream big, and do something about it - one day at a time.

40 Interesting Dream Facts

psych-facts:

  1. Every human dreams. There are tons of people who can’t remember their dreams when they wake up, but they still get them
  2. Human beings spend roughly around 6 years of their lifetime dreaming
  3. Sometimes we dream outside of our REM sleep (Rapid Eye Movement)
  4. Thousands of years ago, the Egyptians were the first to create a dream dictionary in 4000 B.C.E
  5. We roughly spend around 1/3 of our lives sleeping
  6. People who suffer from a personality disorder lack dream activity
  7. Our brains tend to be way more active when we sleep, than when we’re awake
  8. Humans tend to have around 3 to 7 dreams a night. We dream around 2 to 3 hours in a whole night
  9. 90% of the dream is lost the first minute we wake up
  10. Men tend to dream about men more than women, and women dream about people of both genders
  11. Drug withdrawal can cause more intense dreams. People who also quit alcohol and smoking experience heavier dreams and nightmares
  12. You can lucid dream for up to 30 minutes if trained properly
  13. It’s impossible to dream when you’re snoring
  14. Babies don’t dream of themselves until they reach the age of 3
  15. More women than men experience deja-vu in their dreams (eg. you have been in the dream before)

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