Enough Tissues for Issues

Things (issues) start and end with me.  

I have sought outside help for many of the issues for many years.  There were many years that I self-medicated and did not seek out any other solutions and, there were years where I sought outside help while still self-medicating. I have worked with a mentor(s) which helped even more. Obviously, there is more work that needs to be done and more outside help that I want to seek out.

If I am presently going through something (one of my issues), whatever that issue it has nothing to do with anyone else. There are things that get kicked up and they fade away. There are other things that get kicked up and they may linger but they also fade away. Not in your time…. in my time.  Again, they have nothing to do with anyone; They have everything to do with me. Example; many moons ago, I was dating someone, and we were taking a walk…. at some point he grabbed my wrist to pull me close to him so that he could kiss me.  I freaked out and pulled away. After asking me a couple of times what was wrong I told about being raped. He was the first person I ever told. We didn’t date for long but every time he would hold my hand I would find myself letting go within a few seconds.  It had nothing to do with him. I can hold someone’s hands nowadays; This issue I had worked on and now and then it manifests in other ways like being hyper-sensitive.

No one has to walk on eggshells around me. Trust me, I will let others know when to back off, when it’s not a good time, etc etc.

So… I’m trying to stay clean, one day at a time. Relapse has happened in my life and I see that there is so much more work to done around my issues. Yeah, it’s gonna hurt; I’m gonna cry…but I’ve got to do this. 

deanishism:

sunn-ojdajuiceman:

cherise-monet:

darvinasafo:

http://m.dailykos.com/story/2015/08/03/1408341/-Psychologist-openly-admits-he-trains-police-officers-to-shoot-first-and-ask-questions-later S-I-G-N-A-L B-O-O-S-T

I read this article today and I was so disturbed. Only in America. 

so the mountains of dead bodies over the course of several decades wasn’t enough proof

-THIS NEEDS TO MAKE IT’S ROUNDS-

America the Brute-iful

It's all in the mind (or defending ourselves against reality)

onlinecounsellingcollege:

Defense mechanisms are unconscious psychological strategies that help us to cope with reality whilst also preserving our self esteem. Normal, healthy people use them regularly. Examples could include humour, thought suppression or sublimation (transforming negative emotions into positive actions - like helping a friend when we’re feeling sad or down). They only become pathological when they lead to problematic behaviours that compromise our health or relationships. Examples of unhealthy defenses include:

Acting out: This is directly expressing an unconscious impulse without realising what is driving the behaviour.

Fantasy: This is retreating to a fantasy world to escape, or resolve, conflicts we are battling with.

Idealization: This is unconsciously choosing to see another person as being more ideal or perfect than they really are.

Passive aggression: This is expressing our anger indirectly, for example, through being late or doing something that “inadvertently” destroys another’s plans.

Projection: This is attributing our own unacknowledged, and unacceptable, thoughts and emotions onto someone else.

Somatization: This is translating negative thoughts and feelings into physical symptoms. For example, suffering from migraines when you’re dealing with a difficult relationship.

Denial: This is refusing to accept reality because it is too painful or threatening.

Regression: This is temporarily reverting to an earlier stage of development to avoid handling problems and concerns in a more appropriate and adult way.

Distortion: This is totally reshaping your picture of reality so it’s now consistent with your internal needs.

Splitting: This is a primitive defense where the negative and positive aspects are split off – and there’s no integration of these parts at all. For example, the person may view others as being either completely good or completely evil, rather than a mixture of good and bad traits.

10 Mental Blocks of Creative Thinking

psych-facts:

1. Trying to Find the “Right” Answer

One of the worst aspects of formal education is the focus on the correct answer to a particular question or problem. While this approach helps us function in society, it hurts creative thinking because real-life issues are ambiguous. There’s often more than one “correct” answer, and the second one you come up with might be better than the first.

Many of the following mental blocks can be turned around to reveal ways to find more than one answer to any given problem. Try reframing the issue in several different ways in order to prompt different answers, and embrace answering inherently ambiguous questions in several different ways.

2. Logical Thinking

Not only is real life ambiguous, it’s often illogical to the point of madness. While critical thinking skills based on logic are one of our main strengths in evaluating the feasibility of a creative idea, it’s often the enemy of truly innovative thoughts in the first place.

One of the best ways to escape the constraints of your own logical mind is to think metaphorically. One of the reasons why metaphors work so well in communications is that we accept them as true without thinking about it. When you realize that “truth” is often symbolic, you’ll often find that you are actually free to come up with alternatives.

Read More

49 Random Psychology Facts

psych-quotes:

1. Based on the total number of people tested since IQ tests were devised, women have a slightly higher average IQ than men. 
2. Your body is virtually paralyzed during your sleep – most likely to prevent your body from acting out aspects of your dreams. 
3. All the faces in your dream are of people you have saw throughout your life. 
4. If a guy stands with his legs apart while with a girl means he likes her. 
5. Chocolate and shopping are both more addictive than LSD or steroids. 
6. Children who are breast fed display IQ’s up to 10 points higher by the age of three. 
7. There is no such thing as multitasking. 
8. You can only remember 3 to 4 things at a time. 
9. Blue and red together is hard on your eyes. 
10. There’s a disorder where you swear your mother is an impostor of your mother. 

Read More

Some Facts on Avoidant Personality Disorder

psych-facts:

onlinecounsellingcollege:

Avoidant Personality Disorder (AVPD) is a serious condition characterised by a pattern of withdrawal, self-loathing and heightened sensitivity to criticism.  According to DSM IV, people who suffer from AVPD display many of the following traits (Note: These must greatly interfere with the individual’s everyday life):

1.  Avoids occupational activities that involve significant interpersonal contact, because of fears of criticism, disapproval, or rejection.

2. Is unwilling to get involved with people unless certain of being liked.

3. Shows restraint initiating intimate relationships because of the fear of being ashamed, ridiculed, or rejected due to severe low self-worth.

4. Is preoccupied with being criticized or rejected in social situations.

Read More

10 Signs Someone is Interested in You

psych-quotes:

1. They stand closer to you or they keep a smaller distance when they’re around you. It shows that they are comfortable with you and want to get physically intimate. 

2. They are more likely to face you when talking to you as opposed to standing sideways or away from you. However, if they are shy, then maybe this point won’t apply so much. Instead, they will periodically take glimpses at you when you’re not looking. 

3. They’d try to get your attention for trivial things such as calling you about what homework they have or when the homework is due. 

4. They smile more frequently because of you. Even if they don’t show it while around you because they don’t want you to find out they like you, they will smile when they think of you. 

Read More

10 Types of Emotional Manipulators

psych-facts:

onlinecounsellingcollege:

1.    The Constant Victim - This kind of individual will always finds a way to end up as a victim in their relationships.

2.    One-Upmanship Expert – This person uses put downs, snide remarks and criticisms, to show that they’re superior, and know much more than you.

3.    Powerful Dependents – They hide behind the mask of being weak and powerless – then use their helplessness to dominate relationships. That is, they send the subtle message “you must not let me down.”

4.    Triangulators – This person tries to get other people on their side. They’re quick to put you down, and to say some nasty things. They separate good friends or drive a wedge in families.

5.    The Blasters – They blast you with their anger or they blow up suddenly. That stops you asking questions - in case there’s a showdown.

Read More

Homophobic Men Most Aroused by Gay Male Porn | Psychology Today →

Even a man who thought that women want to have sex with their fathers and that women spend much of their lives distraught because they lack a penis is right sometimes. This person, the legend that is Sigmund Freud, theorized that people often have the most hateful and negative attitudes towards things they secretly crave, but feel that they shouldn’t have.

If Freud is right, then perhaps men who are the most opposed to male homosexuality have particularly strong  homosexual urges for other men.

One study asked heterosexal men how comfortable and anxious they are around gay men. Based on these scores, they then divided these men into two groups: men that are homophobic, and men who are not. These men were then shown three, four minute videos. One video depicted straight sex, one depicted lesbian sex and one depicted gay male sex. While this was happening, a device was attached to the male participant's penises. This device has been found to be triggered by sexual arousal, but not other types of arousal (such as nervousness, or fear - arousal often has a very different meaning in psychology than in popular usage).

When viewing lesbian sex and straight sex, both the homophobic and the non-homophobic men showed increased penis circumference. For gay male sex, however, only the homophobic men showed heightened penis arousal.

Heterosexual men with the most anti-gay attitudes, when asked, reported not being sexually aroused by gay male sex videos. But, their penises reported otherwise.

Homophobic men were the most sexually aroused by gay male sex acts.