Act

February 27th - In Thought

Word of the Day - Act:

Fake it until you make it…

That is what I was told to do; to act as if recovery is right for me until I actually believed myself.  

Now, this not to be confused with putting up a front or dressing up the outside when I was hurting so much on the inside.  Oh no, when I was using I had everyone thinking there was nothing wrong.  I didn’t have job so of course I wasn’t eating 3 meals a day.  The voices I was hearing, I told my therapist that my neighbors were harassing me and that had been doing it for so long that I hear their voices everywhere I go (sure nothing wrong with me… it’s them).  Show up now and then to social gathers while all the while itching to leave so I get home and use again.  

It didn’t take long for me to get tired of putting on an act.  In my active addiction my time was better spent getting, using, and finding ways to get more drugs.  

So what now, the masks come off.  I get to be me for me.  Not be someone else to please another, or to get what I want out of a situation. It’s tough looking into the mirror at my true self.  It was suggested to me to act as if I would be taken care of no what is revealed to me in the looking glass.  I try and practice this daily.

Accepting who I am, the good and the bad.  Practicing self-honesty; understanding my strengths and my limitations.  Recovery gives me the opportunity to work on being a man of character and not be a character - one day at a time 

February 27th - Word of the Day - Act

act
[akt]

noun
1. anything done, being done, or to be done; deed; performance: a heroic act.

2. the process of doing: caught in the act.
3. a formal decision, law, or the like, by a legislature, ruler, court, or other authority; decree or edict; statute; judgment, resolve, or award: an act of Congress.
4. an instrument or document stating something done or transacted.
 
5. one of the main divisions of a play or opera: the second act of  Hamlet.
6. a short performance by one or more entertainers, usually part of a variety show or radio or television program.
 
7. the personnel of such a group: The act broke up after 30 years.
8. false show; pretense; feint: The politician’s pious remarks were all an act.
9. Philosophy . (in scholasticism)
     a. activity in process; operation.
     b. the principle or power of operation.
     c. form as determining essence.
     d. a state of realization, as opposed topotentiality.

verb (used without object)
10. to do something; exert energy or force; be employed or operative: He acted promptly in the emergency.
11. to reach, make, or issue a decision on some matter: I am required to act before noon tomorrow.
12. to operate or function in a particular way; perform specific duties or functions: to act as manager.
13. to produce an effect; perform a function: The medicine failed to act.
14. to behave or conduct oneself in a particular fashion: to act well under all conditions.
15. to pretend; feign: Act interested even if you’re bored.
16. to perform as an actor: He acted in three plays by Molière.
17. to be capable of being performed: His plays don’t act well.
18. to serve or substitute (usually followed by for ): In my absence the assistant manager will act for me.

verb (used with object)
19. to represent (a fictitious or historical character) with one’s person: to act Macbeth.
20. to feign; counterfeit: to act outraged virtue.
21. to behave as: He acted the fool.
22. Obsolete . to actuate.

Verb phrases
23. act on  /  upon,
     a. to act in accordance with; follow: He acted on my advice.
     b. to have an effect on; affect: The stirring music acted on the emotions of the audience.
24. act out,
     a. to demonstrate or illustrate by pantomime or by words and gestures: The party guests acted out stories for one another.
     b. Psychology . to give overt expression to (repressed emotions or impulses) without insightful understanding: The patients acted out early traumas by getting angry with the analyst.
25. act up,
     a. to fail to function properly; malfunction: The vacuum cleaner is acting up again.
     b. to behave willfully: The children always act up in school the day before a holiday.
     c. to become painful or troublesome, especially after a period of improvement or remission: My arthritis is acting up again this morning.
26. get  /  have one’s act together, Informal . to organize one’s time, job, resources, etc., so as to function efficiently: The new administration is still getting its act together.

Idioms
27. act funny, to display eccentric or suspicious behavior.
 
28. act one’s age, to behave in a manner appropriate to one’s maturity: We children enjoyed our uncle because he didn’t always act his age.
29. clean up one’s act, Informal . to begin adhering to more acceptable practices, rules of behavior, etc.: The factory must clean up its act and treat its employees better.