acceptance

Those that pass themselves off as altruistic, yet they have ulterior motives.

FAIL

I certainly am no angel.  

Recently, I’ve put into situations where I must tolerate people just like the title of this post.  It is quite frustrating.  I had a long conversation with my mother about this and she suggested that I just not pay attention to them.  So, I am trying to just that.  However, the bullshit is piling high.  

Like I said, I am no angel.  At this time in my life however, I am working on being a better person.  In doing that, whatever I do to be of service to anyone I do because I am able to, want to, and it feels right to do so.  Seeking praise, status, or some kind of kick back just doesn’t fly with me anymore.  That’s was my attitude when I was in active addiction.  Me, me, me, always me.  

So, how does one deal with those with seemingly hidden agendas.  Tolerance, I suppose.  So what… let them talk behind your back; let them believe in their own bullshit; let them dig themselves deeper into a hole?  Or should one call them out on their bullshit; warn potential victims of their conniving, manipulative, and sometimes bullying ways; tell them you’re tired of it?  What if I’m wrong?  Then I suppose I would be acting just like them in a way but different; with good intentions however, hurting them in the process; there appears to be many roads to hell.

We see it all the time; in religious groups, politicians, the rich, and yes in the poor as well; addicts and non-addicts.  We watch as people to good deed just for the fame, money, and/or power.  We see groups spreading hate and every Sunday they sit in church believing that they are in the right and are good people.  

What to do?  When is enough, enough? Live and let live I guess.  Patience, Tolerance, and Acceptance are spiritual principles that can be very hard to practice.  I will need to set some healthy boundaries.  For now, I’ll listen to my mother.

_______________

a few hours later

I have to continue to pause and examine my own motives… Why am I lending a hand, offering assistance, giving advice, making myself available etc etc? If I am seeking praise, reward, ego stroking, or to have power over someone, then the good karma, that I would like to believe I am spreading, is negated.

This is what annoys me the most, when I witness to such behavior, or even fall victim to such. Again, I am no angel… I am working on myself so I am not so self-centered.

Pet me and give me a treat...

Today, at some point during the day, I felt as if I was being treated like child by someone, or as if I were someone with special needs being harassed by a person who insisted on helping them when it’s clear they don’t need or want any assistance.  What I mean by that is, the person spoke to me with a tone in which, I felt, true sincerity was lacking, yet the words used helped this person put on a show for everyone else listening to show that he/she “cared”.  Pure bullshit! 

I wanted to say, “Are you gonna pet me and give me treat now?"  Secondly, I wanted to leap from seat and backhand the pompous, pretentious, condescending, etc etc little prick, but I didn’t. 

Some people are more sick than others.  No matter how much this person makes me sick, I will pray for this person.