When I came into recovery I was a diminished being. My once best friend reduced me to less of man and yet I could let crystal meth go. The drugs that once gave me my confidence, courage, and befriended me had stopped working long before I made the decision to stop.
Having to come to terms with my drug problem was difficult. It was hard to accept that the very thing that I used to cope with feelings of less than was making me into that very feeling. That’s the insanity of my disease; the drugs stopped working and yet I still turned to them to self-medicate my feelings.
Staying clean I get the chance to rebuild my life; to begin to have hope; to feel that I have purpose. The light inside me was adjusted extinguished when I using; I was spiritually bankrupt. My connection to universe is severed when I am high. I am so grateful for the moment of grace where I finally said that I had enough; that I sick and tired of being sick and I tired.
Recovery is a process of feeding my soul - one day at a time.